J.F. Posthumus

J.F. Posthumus

About Me

My photo
Virginia, United States
A computer tech and artist that thrives on writing fantasy to escape the harshness of reality.
Powered by Blogger.



Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Teaser Tuesday

Right... It's Tuesday again and I have yet another teaser from The Shiftless. Ok, so maybe I shouldn't be posting so much, but.... it seems to be going over good and I'm leaving out A LOT of stuff. A lot of rather important stuff, too, lol. Anywhos, I figured I'd throw out my world-building bit on the vampires and Therians and see what you guys think of it. Now, I left out an important tidbit here, that tells which one she is, sooo.... no guessing here!!! If you wanna guess, post over at AW... :D
“I trust you to keep your word to Giada, Ilario,” Akiela replied calmly, though she felt anything but calm. Ilario shrugged as the vampire raised a questioning brow. “I had to assure Vittore that she would be unharmed. It was the only way he would allow her to spy for us.” “Just when were you going to tell me that?” Gardev groaned. “Wait a moment,” Akiela interjected, her frazzled mind focusing on her beloved adopted uncle. “You know Giada? Why would Giada making Ilario promise to keep me safe be a problem?” Gardev barked a laugh. “Warlord Giada may not be a dhampir, but his reputation for being a vampire hunter is widely known, as is his pension for surpassing even the worse necromancer when it comes to dealing death. He has the skills and means to flay a man alive and he has done it, quite literally, on more than one occasion.” Gardev gave Ilario a dark glare as he added, “Vittore Giada is also known to hunt anyone who crosses him, or breaks a vow. He doesn’t care who or what that person is, either.” “Concerned for her, now, are you, Akaash?” Ilario chortled. “I would have told you later, before you tempted to enthrall or feed from her.” At Akiela strangled wordless exclamation Ilario assured her, “Strigoi turn only those they desire. Simply feeding from a person will not do it.” “It will, however, create a dhampir, if we feed from a woman with child,” Gardev intoned. “It’s why few of us ever feed from a pregnant woman. Once a century or two, there are dhampirs born by a vampire who has not yet transformed into their undead state. That only happens during intercourse and within a six-hour period of time. Some claim that there are vampires that can sire children even after their transformations, creating dhampir in the process. There supposedly hasn’t been one for over five hundred years. It’s very, very rare and those dhampir can sense therian and vampire, alike, as well as any other undead creature." He paused, seemed to consider his next words, then continued in a calm, dismissive tone, "You don’t strike me as a diwaryn, either." “A what?” Akiela asked, her unsettled nerves finally calming down to where she didn’t want to run away screaming. The more Gardev spoke, the calmer she felt, as though a part of her knew he wasn’t a danger to her or Ilario. Ilario glared at Gardev as he answered her question, “A diwaryn is the therian equivalent to a dhampir. Therians can only mate with others of their kind, other shapeshifters, in order to procreate or by turning people through their bites. Typically, if one is bitten, they die. The only way a diwaryn can be born is if a mortal has been bitten and manages to survive the bite. If that miracle occurs, then they can spawn a child within twelve hours, even then, more often than not, a child is rarely sired. As with demigods, a mortal woman must have a strong constitution to not only carry the child to full term, but to birth it.” “Who was your father, child? Perhaps we know of him,” Gardev said, his eyes glittering like gems. Akiela found herself staring at them, intrigued by their brightness. Gems, nothing, they’re like green stars in the midnight sky, she thought. She glanced at Ilario, finding his eyes to be like dark pools that were more sinfully delicious to drown in. “I honestly don’t know who my father was. My mother never spoke of him.”


  1. This has a lot of very complicated stuff that distracts from character interaction. Clearly, there's some tension with Gardev, but it gets buried in a lot of "but only within six hours and once in 500 years but only when the moon is full on Tuesdays and the milkman comes before dawn."

    Beware mixing up dialog tags too much. "Said" is nearly invisible, but chortled, replied, groaned, interjected, those all take reader energy away from what's being said.

  2. One small thing that stuck out to me: You say he "has a pension for" and I think you mean "penchant".

    I think you're very close to having a nicely complex and rounded world, but like Bryn said, don't let it get drowned in it's own rules.

  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

  4. I like this, and I think there's a ton of interesting things going here. Just don't throw out too much at once, and watch out for the dialogue tags :-D Good job.

  5. You definitely have a challenge--a complex world, and a small space in which to explain it. But I have to agree with the others: your conflict is getting a bit lost. I'm assuming her parentage is going to become very relevant shortly... :)

    Jan (hope101)

  6. I like it. I was getting a bit confused with all the terms. Perhaps spread out who is what over time. It's very interesting. Good work.